Mr. R.’s World of Math

“WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE!”
I yelled, “GET INTO YOUR SEATS RIGHT NOW! RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE!”

I’d never been this angry at any of my classes in my entire career as a teacher. The students stopped partying and looked scared as they unstacked the chairs, turned the desks right-side up, and sat down. I could tell by their faces that they were ashamed about what they’d done. I knew their behavior was bad enough to have them all expelled for the entire school year.
“What happened! What’s going on!” I yelled, “I leave the room for a few minutes and you trash it!”
“Piggy swally nolly gadoogie!” said Jenna.
“What!” I asked angrily.
“Laggie boingy shubeeducky clucky,” said Jake.
“What did you just say!” I screamed at Jake.
“Lorshky, norshky, evornie, bygzee quigly,” said Matthew.
“What? What are you trying to say? Why can’t you speak normally? Who can explain what happened to this classroom! Believe me, I can’t even tell you all the trouble you’re all in.”
Finally, Regina wrote a note on a piece of paper.

Ms. Saturnberry made us do this. She said she didn’t like boring schools.

I read the note, “Oh, so you’re blaming this on someone else!” I said, “this is your responsibility!”
“Per perpapabilitreebeesnee,” said Carlos.
Jenna wrote on another sheet of paper:

The substitute took control of us with a laser and made us do this.

“Do you expect me to believe this nonsense? I’m disgusted by this. I’m having all of your parents in for a meeting TODAY. I wouldn’t be surprised if Principal Grapefruit expels you all. He might even kick you out of school forever!”
“Issle bissle twissle mahgissle,” said Zander.
“What? Why can none of you speak!” I yelled, “this isn’t some sort of joke! This is not even a little bit funny!”

Jake wrote a note on another sheet of paper:

The sub said she was from Saturn. I think she gave us a speaking problem so we couldn’t tattle on her. She left after making us do this to the classroom.

“Ok, you expect me to believe the substitute came from Saturn, made you destroy the classroom, took away your ability to speak, and then left to go back to Saturn? Have you all gone crazy? Are you all mad? I don’t want you to be expelled, but look at what you’ve done. I’m so disappointed in each and every one of you. I thought I could trust you guys.”

The students wanted to apologize 4,567,321 each day for three days, and then 3,456 more times, how many times did they want to apologize?