My Dog Division

LYRICS

I knew it was really,
A silly decision,
To get a new dog,
And name him, Division…
Division’s not average,
Like other good mutts,
He doesn’t eat food,
No ifs, ands, or buts…
My dad was like,
What’s up?
Is Division real sick?
My mom thought Division,
Had an upset stomach…
I told them Division,
Was really just fine,
He only eats quotients,
At least, most of the time…

CHORUS
My dog division’s got math smarts,
Divided his food into equal parts!
My dog division’s got math smarts,
Divided his food into equal parts!

One morning, I gave him,
4 yummy dog treats,
I checked after school,
He’d had nothing to eat!!
He’d divided his treats,
Into 2 equal parts,
2 treats in each pile,
My dog had math smarts!!
I didn’t get angry,
I didn’t get sad,
I told him to eat,
To make all of us glad…
I said food is for eating,
Not putting in piles,
Division just nodded and gave me dog smiles…

4 divided by 2 is 2
I’m using division and you can too
4 divided by 2 is 2
I’m using division and you can too

CHORUS

The next day was Wednesday,
I’m pouring more treats,
9 bones in his bowl,
Bones dogs like to eat!
I told him real sternly,
Don’t practice division,
These bones are for eating,
Not math-food collisions,
But when I returned,
What did my eyes see?
Division made piles,
3 piles of 3!
I yelled out, oh gosh!
You did it again,
So I wrote something down,
On a pad with a pen,

Food’s good for eating,
Not putting in piles,
Division just nodded,
And gave me dog smiles…

9 ÷ 3 is 3
that’s 3 equal parts, as you can see,
9 ÷ 3 is 3
that’s 3 equal parts, as you can see,
CHORUS

I shouted, and shouted,
Division…go eat!!!
I screamed,
And I yelled,
I would not take defeat!
“You gotta’ just eat,
If you want to survive,
And I like my dogs best,
When they’re feeling alive!”

Division just sang,
Like good puppies should,
Quotients are yummy,
My numbers taste good!
I’m just eating quotients,
I’m really alright,
Quotients are sweet,
They’re such tasty delights!
Division gives quotients,
And they taste alright!

The next morning,
I thought up a plan with a twist,
I knew something,
That all dogs could never resist…
I put 36 pieces,
Of savory steak,
In his dog bowl,
And left him a cake…
But when I returned,
Had he eaten the beef?
6 piles of 6…
Oh goodness grief!
But cake was all gone,
And that’s the sweet-truth,
I think dog Division,
Has a sweet-tooth…

36 divided by 6 is 6
It makes 6 piles of 6…

CHORUS

Division, I said,
What are we gonna do?
If you keep finding quotients,
There won’t be a you!
We gotta’ go down,
Some other path, dude,
Don’t spend time dividing,
Just eat your dog food!

He looked and he said,
How bout some new math?
Maybe something to help me,
Get on the food path…
We thought for a while,
Yes, me and my pup,
And just what was said,
When my doggie spoke up?

Multiplication might work,
It’s also math based,
And it’s making me wonder,
How products would taste…

Chorus

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