Doctors

There I was,
Just sitting and waiting,
In the doc's office,
Instead of ice-skating...

You see my mother,
well,
She'd taken me home,
Since I'd fallen, she'd figured I'd broken a bone...

Now I have to admit that my doc is real nice,
But couldn't this be cured with aspirin and ice?
"No," said my mom,
"This needs professional attention."
So there we waited,
With cool apprehension...
Finally, finally the door of the office,
Swung open so wide,
Like the claws of a crawfish...

And then there was the doctor,
But he didn't say, "Hi,"
No, he smiled and looked, and then said,

"goodbye!"

"Goodbye?" asked my mom, "but you didn't examine!"
"I don't need to," said Doc,
"I see he's a perfect Red Salmon,

Or is he trout, or a bass, or a big ol' sunfish?
In a dish we could bake him,

Is what I do wish..."

"Are you crazy doc?

Have you been up too late?"
Asked my mother with something that sounded like hate.

"Up too late?

Crazy?

No, none of those things,
I can see he's healthy,
Come look at these rings,
Under his eyes....

And that yellowish shade!!!
This boy is so healthy, he sure makes the grade!!
What makes you think this boy needs a check-up?
He's the picture of health, at least from the neck up!"

My mother screamed, "Look! Just look at his arm!
I think that it's broken," she sounded alarmed.

The doctor sniffed hard, and turned with a grin,
"Nope, that arm smells perfect,
And so does his skin..."

"Smells!" screamed my Mom,

"No-how, and no-way!

Is there another doctor at this office today?"
"No," said my doctor as he bit my arm hard,
I screamed "Ow, that hurts,"
He said, "Yeah, but it tastes just like lard!"

That was all she could take,
Mom grabbed my good arm,
Told me that Doc needed some time,
out at the farm...
"I think our doctor's gone mad,
He needs one I think,
Not a medical doctor,
But some sort of shrink..."

So we left his office,
Muy pronto - with haste,
And mom built me a cast,

With water and paste...
And my arm soon healed,
It felt really fine,
Now mom is my doctor,
All of the time...

 

 

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